I knew that in the Church of Scientology, one is not supposed to read negative stories and data about it. If one does, one would have to go to Ethics and do conditions. It would cause that person to be labeled as a PTS. It would make it harder to be accepted onto one’s OT Levels in the future. I had never read anything negative about it in years and I hadn’t wanted to. The idea of reading things like that on the Internet seemed like a very surreal idea to me. Yet I was faced with the decision of whether or not to do so. Sindy had asked me to and she was very worried that I would not do it. She knew that in order for our marriage to work out, this had to occur, and I knew that she was right.
I was very apprehensive about it. I even had the thought that maybe I should ask the HAS at the org for permission to look at this Internet data. It took me about two seconds to see how little sense that idea made. I could see that if I was going to do this, it would have to be totally my decision and it would have to be done, at first, in secret.