(Section 11 of Part 2 – Determining the Validity of Internet Data)
I was still going into the org on what was my post time. I was removed from the course room and not allowed to Sup. I was given some Mest work to do but not too much actually.
I was assigned to listen to the State of Man Congress and the Clean Hands Congress. Apparently, according to the people who assigned this to me, it was thought that I must still not have gotten what those courses were supposed to teach me, because I never cognited that the only way I could ever see anything wrong with the way Scientology was run was because of my own overts. I had listened to those lectures several times before, in addition to having done the Ethics Specialist, Volume 0, the Life Orientation Course, Academy Level II, etc, but I apparently still needed to get hatted on that so I could cognite that only I could have the overts and that it was impossible for church management to have them.
It didn’t work. There were far more data spoken by LRH in those lectures that confirmed the rightness of what I was doing than data that was supposed to get me to “see” how the spotting of outpoints was because of my own overts against the people I was spotting outpoints about.
I was actually surprised at how O/W tech was interpreted by others. When I had ever studied O/W tech I never got the impression that your own O/Ws were the only way that you could spot outpoints in something. That would mean that before you were ever able to do an outpoint data evaluation on an area, that you would first have to commit overts on the area you were doing the evaluation on!
So this meant that the Church of Scientology could do no wrong. It meant anyone who ever saw anything wrong with how the church was run couldn’t be right because, the fact that they were seeing it that way, meant that they had overts causing them to see it that way.
Well, that’s not how I ever interpreted anything LRH wrote or said about overts and criticism of Scientology or criticism of anything, for that matter. I must have had a misunderstood word just before the part that explained that only I could have overts. I must not have fully grasped that it could never be that the other terminal in question could be a non-survival terminal to be connected to and contributing to. No, it was expected of me to realize that if I were free of overts then I would see perfection in everything I ever dealt with!
Seriously, any member of any group has the duty if they wish their group to do well, to be aware enough to see wrongnesses as well as rightnesses. They must have the presence of mind to make things right when things are wrong. In my experience, lack of that ability (along with refusing to look and the inability to see) is the more basic indicator of overts.
Overts are not what causes someone to see the truth. When Person A tries to convince Person B that the only reason Person B would ever see any kind of outness with Person A was because of Person B’s overts, to me that’s a sign that Person A is abusing O/W tech in an attempt to hide something. That’s squirrel.
Do I have overts? Absolutely, you could through all my pc and ethics folders, and if you were to look for overts and out-ethics situations, you could surely find them. (It would be a serious violation of the confidentiality of those records, but you could do it.) You could have a field day putting together a list of all the confessed transgressions in my folders and the list might be quite long and look pretty bad. You could ignore the accomplishments I made and how I learned from my mistakes. You could overlook how I grew up to be a more ethical person, with the guidance of some of the ethics references in Scientology. You could neglect to see how I successfully strove to become more technically competent in the tech of Scientology resulting in almost 25 years of service to others, at very low pay, for the sole purpose of helping people.
I had done some pretty stupid things in my early days and never did become perfect. But I worked and studied very hard and maintained high standards for myself, and though it took many years, I came to a point where I felt I had reached a point of excellence as a Sup that I am very proud of.
In my last years on staff, it’s not like I didn’t still have personality flaws that contributed to making things less than ideal between me and my seniors on occasion.
But, for example, I eventually got to a point where I could Supervise people through their TRs and metering to a very high standard without them having to go some through some of the very common lower emotions that a lot of people talk about going through when they do these courses. It came from finally understanding the full importance of a good two-way communication cycle with the student and understanding what study tech tool each individual student needs in each individual situation. I got a lot of help from some very good people to accomplish this ability and I am still very grateful.
I was privileged to be able to feel that I was actually helping individuals.
But because I was very glib at first, and because even after I improved I came far short of achieving perfection as a group member, a long list of outnesses on my part in my 25 years could be made if all my accomplishments were ignored.
A lot of good people dedicated the majority of their lives to trying to make this Scientology thing go right in the face of a lot of adversity. It’s not fair for them have Black PR written about them which over-emphasizes their faults and ignores their virtues just because they disagree with things they see going on around them. I saw some examples of this kind of slanted criticism on my “Dead Agent Handling” which I will expound upon later in this blog.
So the next time you see a write-up of someone who has been declared for leaving the church, I recommend that you take a broader view of the person and his or her history. Don’t just judge them by a list of vilifying claims. People deserve a fair trial and they deserve to not have their friends throw them under the bus because they dare to question. Don’t just glibly think, “Oh, well, he left, he must have overts.”
Next…Part 3 – Why I Left the Church